she get it from her mama...

I ran a race Saturday. I was planning on volunteering, but at the last minute my mom and her friend (who put the event together) talked me into running instead. It was just a 5k, and I've been running a lot lately, but all summer I've savored the solace of the air conditioning, logging miles on the treadmill as opposed to pounding the pavement. 

Truth be told, I just wanted to finish. But as soon as the race started I realized my fitnemesis* was hot on my tracks. With her marine husband. I don't know what it was, but something in me decided that girl was not going to pass me. 

I ran my butt off. I picked a boy and followed him. Not creepy, stalker followed, but I kept up with him. My official time was 21:47 and I was the 1st female to cross the finish line. 

Maybe I'm bragging. Ok, I'm bragging just a little. But there are 2 things I really want to say.

1. As I rounded the last turn I could see my mom at the finish line. Jumping up and down, screaming my name. Motivation. 

2. Of course she was proud of me, but as I stood there after finishing, I watched her continue to jump and cheer for every woman who takes her boot camp class at the gym. Inspiration. 

These women all have different, remarkable stories (the young woman with Rheumatoid Arthritis, the single mother of two who lost her husband in a car accident, the 70 year old whose grandchildren can't keep up with her.) They are an inspiration. But they are inspired, too, by my mom's encouragement, her determination, her competitive drive... she has opened herself up to them and they are motivated to run faster, to be stronger, and to go harder because of her. 

I guess what I'm really trying to say is be inspired, but be an inspiration. Your story, your life, your relationships... the way you react when someone cuts you off in traffic, the way you aren't afraid to be the butt of your own jokes. The way you live you life, how you train, how you work, how you talk to your children when you're angry...

We have opportunities to inspire the people around us, whether we realize it or not. It's really pretty crazy if you think about it. 

Be an inspiration.

*Fitness Nemesis. The person you try to squat lower than in boot camp, kick higher than in kickboxing, outlast on the treadmill... "Oh your dumbbells weigh 10 pounds? Pass me the 12s." 

you're toxic, i'm slippin under...

I never really bought into the whole "detox" thing. Truth is, most of the people I know who would regularly detox were just practicing a glorified version of an eating disorder. Eliminating entire food groups from their diets, living off of juice... that can't be healthy. But after our trip to Kentucky, I felt sick and sluggish. The combination of no exercise and too much junk food had left me feeling lethargic and weighed down. 

After one day of overly-ambitious self deprivation (no carbs, no sugar, no dairy) I reevaluated my goals and made some adjustments. Also, the caffeine withdrawals were enough to make me want to bash my head into a wall. I wouldn't call it a detox, but I really focused on being more mindful of my food choices.

Eating intentionally isn't easy. It takes time and effort. But it leaves you feeling satisfied. A handful of crackers might be a "quick fix" when I'm feeling ravenously hungry, but a banana with peanut butter will give me more enduring energy. 

And if you just have to detox, there are three forms I can get behind.

1. Yogi DeTox Tea. I'm not gonna lie, it's not my favorite flavor. I'd much rather sip on Tazo's Joy tea (or a glass of wine, if we're being really honest.) But knowing that it promotes liver and kidney function makes it a little more palatable. 

2. Detox Bath. I'm not exactly sure how soaking in Epsom salt, baking soda, and ground ginger will help remove toxins from your body, but evidently it does. It soothed my aching muscles after a particularly hard workout, and a bath always helps me clear my mind of mental clutter. 

3. Face masks. I'm still a 7 year old at a sleepover when it comes to face masks. Wei's Golden Root Purifying Mud Mask came in my last Birchbox and I loved it, but I find that most drugstore options work just as well. 

I do believe the practice of each of these is really more effective in detoxifying than the product itself. Sitting down and enjoying a cup of tea, blocking out 15 minutes to slather mud all over your face and not interact with the outside world, and turning the lights down, the music up and soaking can do wonders for your psyche. 

Shameless Saturday

Hi friends... I have a confession. I've been a little bit of a slacker these past few days. I finished all my blog work last Friday, Sunday was my birthday, and since Monday I honestly can't tell you one productive thing I've done all week. Well, there were mornings at the gym and evenings spent working at the restaurant which is moderately productive, but there was also an entire afternoon snuggled up in bed watching Audrey Hepburn movies. There were face masks and bubble baths, and a whole day on the beach in happy solitude. 

Sometimes you need a break. And it might sound selfish and lazy (and hey, maybe it is) but today I feel refreshed. Well-rested and eager to take on new challenges and do big things. There will come a day (sooner than later) when I can't just unplug for 5 days. I know this is a luxury, and I am so thankful. Enjoy it while you can, friends. The days are long, but the years are short.

Hey! It's ok...

... if your interseasonal shopping habits are as bipolar as the weather. Bikinis and boots... shorts, sandals and scarves... So conflicted.

... if you're still fighting desperately for your "summer tan."

... to get a head start on your Christmas wishlist. 

... to not skip "Winter Wonderland" when Pandora slips it in on your Frank Sinatra station. And hey, might as well sing along, baby. 

... to use your birthday to justify your behavior for an entire month. Another piece of cake? Well is it my birthdaymonth...

Guilt-free Friday!

Hi kittens and happy long weekend to you! I just finished all my work for the month and I am one happy camper. Seriously, is there anything better than meeting a deadline, finishing an assignment, and crossing things off your to-do list? I don't think so. Well, maybe ice cream. Yes ice cream is better. And massages. ahhhh

Are you doing anything fun for Labor Day? It has always been one of my favorite weekends. Even though I'm remarkably nostalgic and I hate everything that possibly signifies the end something good (the end of summer, the end of my 22nd year) I can't help but feel a little exuberant about the new things to come (fall! winter! spring! a new month, a new year, 23!) 

I hope your weekend is light and lively, filled with fun and celebration. A giant bear hug until next time...

Hey! It's ok...

if new glasses* make you feel infinitely smarter, more mysterious, deeply intellectual and interesting. But a new watch will never, ever get you somewhere on time. 

and while we're on the subject... what is it with these people who set clocks 5, 7, 10 minutes early? 

to be a total diva on your birthday. I mean why should you act any differently than you do every other day of your life?

to have a full, legitimate conversation with your dog. Why talk to yourself when you can share your ideas with a furry friend who will listen attentively and even tilt his head inquisitively throughout the conversation (as long as you slip in a few key words... treat, leash, out)

Julian sent me this picture one day and I adore it. 

When he's not being living the thug life, Yoshi is actually quite dignified. And a great listener. :)

**New glasses:

They might make me feel smarter, but I can't resist the urge to make funny faces and take awkward, unflattering self portraits every time I put them on...

hi & imissedyou

Spent last week with my grandparents in Kentucky. It was a nice break from it all, even though technically I still worked 3 days while we were there. 

I came down with a cold. In August. Problems with this: a. It's August b. I don't get sick. I'm going to blame the flight and its recycled, germ-infested air. 

Now it's deadline week. I still have quite a bit of writing to do. I've been getting some negative feedback lately from one client, which is kind of a bummer. I think the crux of the matter is they don't really know what they want, which makes it hard for me to give them what they want. Conflicting ideas, contradicting opinions, everyone wants a piece of the pie, but they can't decide which pie to slice. 

Yesterday, I got one particularly disheartening email. Disclaimer: I'm overly sensitive. And when it comes to my writing, I sometimes take feedback too personally. From anonymous blog comments "You don't like raisins but you like genetically modified ingredients?" (response: yes, as long as they're not genetically modified raisins) to the red-lettered scribbles my college professors occasionally littered my papers with... I get this self-righteous, pompous "I'm and artist" attitude. Yes, maybe I am "an artist" (though doubtful) but they're paying my bills. 

Anyways, I digress. I got that email and felt hot tears burning my eyes. Which is especially dumb, because I was at the gym. I had one other email at the time, and decided to read it to try to quickly distract myself from the impending doom that is my life. It was a blog comment, from my mom,* that simply said, "Lovely..." One word, simple but remarkably reassuring. I don't know what it is about that woman, but she always knows how to put me in my place. At 15 "putting me in my place" was something quite different, but that's another blog post entirely. 

So here's the thing, the lesson I learned in all this, just do your best. Your absolute best. If I continually put out the best product I can, work that I'm proud of, content I find compelling... then I won't be disappointed. There's a Dita Von Teese quote I've been seeing around lately, and it rings true. Not that I always take advice from burlesque dancers, but this time it works...

And additional encouragement, in the form of an early birthday present from my sweet cousin. Chocolate (of course) and a little notebook (for brilliant ideas) I love the Emily Dickinson quote on the front. 

[Dwell in possibility.]

*aka my most faithful follower. If that doesn't make me a complete loser I don't know what does. 

haunted

I ran through the cemetery today. It wasn't so much a conscious choice, but I was running and the shade of her trees provided a welcome reprieve from the sun. Her twisting path seemed like a nice alternative to the bustling street and the cars that kept pushing me off the shoulder. The gate was open and, for a cemetery, she seemed oddly inviting, comfortable, familiar.  

I ran through the cemetery today and your name stopped me dead in my tracks. It's not your name, and it's not your grave but it stung just the same. Harris, Johnson, Clark, Lewis, Parker, and then there it was. It grabbed me. The kind of sly, choking fear that sneaks up out of nowhere and sucker punches you, a grappling hook straight to the heart. It steals your breath and knocks the life out of your stride. It's not your grave, but I couldn't help but wonder what if. 

I ran through the cemetery today and it wasn't your name but it put your name in my head and in my heart. There may come a day when that's just the name of my daughter's playmate. Or it's just the name of the person who cuts my hair. Or just the name of the friendly person behind the counter. But for now, it's yours, and it stings like sand in my eyes.

I ran through the cemetery today.  

[iamge via]

Guilt-free Friday!

It's the weekend! After loads of fun last weekend (best friends visiting and family in town) this one will be spent playing catch up. You know what they say, you gotta pay to play. Besides I have exciting travel plans on the books for next week... but I think I'll hold out on the details. I hope your weekend is lovely. Until next time...

Hey! It's ok...

... to tell yourself that a Sunday afternoon detoxifying mud mask will counteract the weekend's shenanigans.

... and to rely on whitening toothpaste and Listerine to counteract all the coffee you drink.

... to pretend you didn't hear it. Snide remarks, cat calls, condescending commands, nosy questions... ignore, ignore, ignore...

... if "cleaning the house" means a quick spot sweep, dimming the lights, and lighting a few candles.

[When it comes to candles, I'm definitely a Trapp girl. Their fragrances are seriously intoxicating (orange vanilla is my favorite) and they make your house feel like a home. So cozy and inviting... love it.]