haunted

I ran through the cemetery today. It wasn't so much a conscious choice, but I was running and the shade of her trees provided a welcome reprieve from the sun. Her twisting path seemed like a nice alternative to the bustling street and the cars that kept pushing me off the shoulder. The gate was open and, for a cemetery, she seemed oddly inviting, comfortable, familiar.  

I ran through the cemetery today and your name stopped me dead in my tracks. It's not your name, and it's not your grave but it stung just the same. Harris, Johnson, Clark, Lewis, Parker, and then there it was. It grabbed me. The kind of sly, choking fear that sneaks up out of nowhere and sucker punches you, a grappling hook straight to the heart. It steals your breath and knocks the life out of your stride. It's not your grave, but I couldn't help but wonder what if. 

I ran through the cemetery today and it wasn't your name but it put your name in my head and in my heart. There may come a day when that's just the name of my daughter's playmate. Or it's just the name of the person who cuts my hair. Or just the name of the friendly person behind the counter. But for now, it's yours, and it stings like sand in my eyes.

I ran through the cemetery today.  

[iamge via]

Guilt-free Friday!

It's the weekend! After loads of fun last weekend (best friends visiting and family in town) this one will be spent playing catch up. You know what they say, you gotta pay to play. Besides I have exciting travel plans on the books for next week... but I think I'll hold out on the details. I hope your weekend is lovely. Until next time...

Hey! It's ok...

... to tell yourself that a Sunday afternoon detoxifying mud mask will counteract the weekend's shenanigans.

... and to rely on whitening toothpaste and Listerine to counteract all the coffee you drink.

... to pretend you didn't hear it. Snide remarks, cat calls, condescending commands, nosy questions... ignore, ignore, ignore...

... if "cleaning the house" means a quick spot sweep, dimming the lights, and lighting a few candles.

[When it comes to candles, I'm definitely a Trapp girl. Their fragrances are seriously intoxicating (orange vanilla is my favorite) and they make your house feel like a home. So cozy and inviting... love it.]

bar none

I'm a busy girl (when I'm not lounging around poolside sipping Mai Tais. Kidding. Kind of.) I also have a pretty quick metabolism. Not in a "look-at-me-I'm-so-skinny-and-I-can-eat-whatever-I-want" kind of way, but more of a "If-I-don't-eat-something-every-2-hours-things-are-gonna-get-ugly" kind of thing.  But between blogging & working at the restaurant, mealtimes aren't necessarily as defined as they used to be. 

When I'm on the go, I try to compensate with bars, but there's one tiny problem. I hate raisins. Not just whole, chewy raisins, but even if they're pureed and mixed into the bar, I can taste them. And no me gusta (I'm lookin at you, Clif Bar.) Also, I'm not into bars that taste like the cardboard box they came in (cough*kashi*cough) What can I say, I'm hard to please. So here's a roundup of some bars that I love and you will too, even if you're as picky as me.  

Kind: Almond & Coconut and Cranberry Almond. Natural, simple, straightforward. 

Special K Chocolate Peanut Butter Protein Meal Bars. Packed with protein (just opt for the meal bars, not the snack ones.)

Luna White Chocolate Macadamia (I thought I was eating a cookie. Which is always the goal.)

Larabar Bananas Foster (I'm picky about bananas, but this came in my Birchbox and I gave it a try... and promptly went out and bought 5 more.)

What can I say? Snickers Satisfies. 

juuuust kiddingggg... kind of. 

On my mind...

rain, coffee, thunder, words
it's always days like this that make me think the most
introspective, reflective, thoughtful, and as deep as the puddles
there's something silly about sunshine, 
fickle and fleeting
dancing behind the clouds and calling it quits as soon as evening rolls around
rain though, he's dependable.
a steady stream that seems to say
"I'm in it for the long haul."
of course there are stray showers,
summer storms that materialize and vanish just as quickly
but my kind of rain lasts all day 
& isn't scared off by the dark of night
and streeeetch. deeps breaths. mindful. present.
the more i do, the more i want to do
accomplishment breeds accomplishment
from cleaning my closet to vacuuming my car
running a few miles or reading a few chapters
i can't help but feel energized by the accomplishment
no matter how big or how small
"dream big, but start small..."
but where to begin?
compass, atlas, new directions...
forging a path, blazing a trail
progress change growth
but don't be afraid to sit and stay for a while.  
so much to look forward to, so much excitement, 
so much work
so much love.
soak it all in.
but first... shower

your turn. xo

[images via Modern Hepburn]

bad habits & pet peeves

I'm a peach when it comes to my skincare regimen... washing my face every night and cleaning my makeup brushes regularly... but if we're being honest I hold on to mascara way too long. I just like it better after it's a few (meaning 6) months old. My mom is totally cringing as she reads this.


I can be a little bossy without realizing it. A friend once called it "oldest child syndrome," explaining that everything her oldest sister says sounds like a command! I asked my younger sister if she found it to be true, and (of course) she agreed but consoled me with "I know it's just how you are..." 


When I like a song? I listen to it repeatedly. Like, start-it-over-before-it-ends, repeatedly. 


Another bad habit? I generally don't like people off the bat. Which is dumb, and as soon as I get to know someone I think "Why didn't I like you to begin with?" 


I hoard coffee mugs. Dirty ones pile up all over the house. I don't like to wash them too soon, for fear I might need another cup later in the day. Every. Single. Day. It drives my dad crazy. I'm like the girl from Signs who leaves water glasses all over the house. I will point out that she saved their lives when the alien invasion happened, so maybe my behavior is justified. (That's how the movie went, right? I've never been crazy for science fiction.)

I have a voracious sweet tooth. It got so out of hand, in fact, that I was starting every single day with a cookie (with my morning coffee) and craving dessert after every meal. I've tried to cut back, but there are still days (like today) when I can't resist something sweet and chocolatey.

It's silly though... even with all my bad habits, I still have pet peeves, or things that other people do that drive me crazy. Nail biters (literally) make me nauseous, there's something about the germs that get trapped under your nails that really makes me feel sick when I see someone chomping away. I cannot stand a sense of entitlement (as is so typical of my generation.) And I hate being told  commanded what to do. Bad manners, copy cats, and rude drivers are up there too. (But if we're being fair, I guess that means we should add road rage to the list of bad habits too...)


So spill... what are your bad habits? And pet peeves?

sitting and staring

Since I started blogging, er, getting paid to blog, I've been spending a lot more time in front of a computer. Sometimes I get so caught up in my work that 6 hours have disappeared before I realize it. Other days, sitting and staring really gets the best of me. I'm no expert, but over the past few months I've come up with a few tactics to beat that stir crazy feeling.


1. Visual Breaks. This one... I'm working on. I try to remind myself to do it, because staring at a computer screen all day can damage your eyes. But sometimes it's hard to break away. There are apps you can download that force you to take a visual break periodically, but let's be real, this girl doesn't like being told what to do. So in the mean time I'm trying to be more mindful of my retinas, I'm wearing my glasses more regularly, and I scheduled a long overdue eye exam. 


2. Stretch. When my back starts cramping up and my butt goes numb, I stand up and stretch for a minute. At home, I can do all sorts of crazy things, like sun salutations and tree pose and the YMCA. When I'm working in the office though, I try to be a little more discreet. I've learned a little something about office life... You can play "Party in the USA" on repeat or you can do intense yoga. Not both. If your taste in music is as questionable as mine, here are 6 Stretches You Can Do At Your Desk by Yoga Journal. 


3. Mental Break. When I catch myself getting distracted or my mind starts wandering off too easily, I walk away from my desk for a minute. I'm not gonna lie, I usually go make a cup of coffee, so I cannot testify if it's the caffeine that aids concentration or if simply putting down the task at hand and coming back to it helps me regain my focus. It's no wonder all of my notebooks have coffee rings on them, as seen above, but I take it as a sign of hard work. 


4. Rewards. Note: I'm 5 years old. This is something I've done since my school days (Finish reading a chapter? Apply one coat of nail polish. Homework and manicure in one, multitasking at its finest.) I break up a long list of arduous tasks with little treats as I accomplish things. Sure, checking something off your to-do list is rewarding. But not quite as rewarding as eating a handful of peanut m&ms. Sometimes you just need a little motivation. (Cue Kelly Rowland) 


So tell me, how do you make it through a long work day?

Blanc and White

It's no secret that my love for red wine is deep and true. I've always favored Cabernet for being bold and sexy. She's the woman I want to be, the girl I wish I was. She salsas and sambas and saunters confidently in stilettos, tossing her perfectly tousled hair over her shoulders and whispering something sultry (in French, undoubtedly) through full, pouty lips. She's mysterious in a way that draws you in and leaves you wanting more. Exotic, intimidating, captivating.

Lately, though, I've been stepping out on her with a good, crisp white. Sauvignon Blanc, to be specific. She's bold and complex, never syrupy or saccharine. Not one to show off, but always exciting. An understated, low-maintenance, bronzer and mascara kind of girl. She's smart and interesting, but doesn't take herself too seriously.  She'd never claim to be the life of the party, but she'll beat you to the punch line every time. You feel refreshed after talking to her, and she puts you at ease.

The truth is, I'm a little goofy and awkward. I laugh at my own jokes and I have the body of a 12-year-old boy. Maybe I like Sauvignon Blanc because we are kindred spirits. And I'm ok with that. 

So here's a roundup of some recent faves, if you're interested.

Bronze: Bonterra- "Intense aromas of grapefruit, citrus, kiwi and fresh cut grass greet the nose. As you drink, the crisp acidity gives the wine a fresh vibrant feel with flavors of grapefruit, lime zest and grass that closes with flavors of melon and a nice tart finish." Scores bonus points for being organic.

Silver: Frenzy- "aromatic and lively, bursting with flavors of passion fruit, melon, citrus, peach and fresh cut grass. The palate is dry and vibrant with racy acid and typical pungency." Pair this with spicy Thai food, and you’ll think you’ve died and gone to heaven.

Gold: Joel Gott- “bright aromas of Meyer lemon and key lime balanced, and made more complex, by notes of passionfruit and honeysuckle. The wine is round on the palate with mouth-watering acidity and a light, refreshing finish.” I love everything this winery does (as seen here). #fangirl

And did I just give them medals? Yes. Cheers & Happy Olympics. 

[Always be prepared: never leave home without a wine glass.]

p.s. tasting notes came from their respective wineries