Monday, January 23, 2012

As of late...

Just this month, I finally started my post-grad job search. It has already been an emotional roller coaster. Some days I'm hopeful, optimistic, and excited. (After all, it has only been 2 weeks since I actually started looking for my first official "big girl job.") And still, other days, I am overwhelmed, stressed, and worried about the uncertainty that lies ahead. One night though, as I sifted through feelings of anxiety, worries of rejection, and fearful thoughts of the future, I heard a still, small voice say, "But you were not created for fear."

You were not created for fear. 
You were not created for anxiety. 
You were not created for stress. 
You were not created for strife. 
I grew up reading this in the Scriptures, but I never fully grasped what it meant, or what it looked like in practice.

Fish are not made for flying. Birds are not made for swimming. If a fish decided to spend the rest of its life in the clouds, it would surely die. And if a bird committed to spending its days submerged, death would be imminent. And yet, how different are we?

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline." (2 Timothy 1:7) Does this mean it is going to be easy? Absolutely not. "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." (John 16:33)

We all know that if a bird took to the water, it would start to struggle, gasping for air, and eventually it would drown. And yet, this is exactly what my anxious thoughts do to me: they suffocate me, robbing me of the unspeakable joy God has in store for me, leaving me choking on what my limited mind can see and understand. I worry about the big things, I stress about the small stuff, my anxiety grips me tight until I literally feel sick. And yet, it changes nothing. "Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom." And He really is a good Father, so wouldn't it make sense that He has the rest figured out too? 

The funny thing is, I worried to try to control things. To take charge of my situation. To grab the reins. But turning them over to Him? True freedom. Am I saying I will never worry again? Doubtful. But when those feelings begin to surface, I don't have to hold onto them. I'm not made for that, I was created to serve, to follow, to trust. 


  1. Beautiful. You are a true writer. I struggle with worry & where life is taking me too, but it is such a comfort that our God will take all of that worry away. And that He has truly a wonderful plan for us all.

  2. This is such a a beautiful, heartfelt post. I just graduated in December, and I'm looking for a better job, too. I've been worried about it all and feeling a bit aimless, and I so easily forget to trust in the Lord! Thanks for the reminder to serve, follow, and trust.

  3. Perfect pictures for this post! It sure is difficult to give up worrying and think you have to know exactly what you have to do to get by. But then we feel silly because it never was up to us to begin with! :) Great post!

    (And just in case you wonder my way, I am back on blogspot!:) )



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